Key Takeaways

The Interview: Eight Minutes That Make the Case for Church-Based Marriage Ministry

In a video interview timed to the release of the Institute for Family Studies’ Devout Difference report, J.P. De Gance, founder and president of Communio, sat down with host Chris to unpack what the data shows about the relationship between faith, church attendance, and marital happiness.

The numbers from the report are striking. Seventy-nine percent of churchgoing Catholics and 74% of churchgoing Protestants report being very or extremely happy in their marriages. Among religiously unaffiliated couples, that figure is 66%. The gap is consistent, significant, and directly relevant to every pastor thinking about the health of the marriages in their congregation.

► Watch the full interview → youtube.com

What De Gance Said: Three Things Driving the Happiness Advantage

De Gance offered a clear, practical explanation for why the gap exists.

Permanence. Churchgoers are more likely to hold the conviction that their marriage is meant to last until death. That sense of permanence, he argued, is closely associated with greater marital happiness. When both partners enter marriage with the genuine expectation of staying, they invest differently in the relationship than couples who maintain a mental exit.

Forgiveness. Marriage, De Gance said, is a school of love — a place where we all make mistakes and where forgiveness is practiced daily. Churchgoers are more likely to prioritize forgiveness not just because it is healthy, but because it is embedded in their faith. The Lord’s Prayer itself, he noted, calls believers to forgive those who trespass against them. That formation translates directly into how couples handle conflict.

Prayer. Couples who pray together report higher marital satisfaction. Regular churchgoers pray more frequently on average, and that practice compounds the other factors, building a shared spiritual life that anchors the relationship.

On orthodoxy, De Gance was direct: those who hold more closely to an orthodox expression of faith are more likely to see a cascading effect across all of their behavior, including how they love their spouse.

The Bigger Picture: Why Communio Does This Work

When asked why he has made marriage ministry his life’s work, De Gance pointed to the intersection of the happiness crisis, the loneliness crisis, and the collapse of marriage as a cultural institution.

Married Americans are more likely to avoid both loneliness and unhappiness, he said. These are not small personal concerns. They are large social problems that the government cannot solve. The federal government cannot make you love someone until death do you part. The local church can create the conditions where that kind of love is formed, practiced, and sustained.

He also pointed to what Communio is seeing on the ground. Close to 600 churches across 33 states now work with Communio, using community events like date nights, cornhole tournaments, and neighborhood outreach to create what he called a front porch for the local community. Churches that lean into this approach are growing 24% every 12 to 24 months.

As for whether he is optimistic about the future of marriage in America: “As a Christian, I have hope,” De Gance said. “The world has been selling us a bad bill of goods. God has made us for purpose.” He pointed to the 80-year Harvard happiness study, which found that close relationships — more than wealth, fame, or career achievement — were the primary differentiator between happy and unhappy lives. Marriage and family life are where those relationships most reliably form.

Take the Next Step

► Watch the full interview with J.P. De Gance → youtube.com

► Read the IFS Devout Difference report → ifstudies.org

► Explore Communio’s resources for churches → communio.org

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the Devout Difference report find about faith and marital happiness? The IFS Devout Difference report found that 79% of churchgoing Catholics and 74% of churchgoing Protestants report being very or extremely happy in their marriages, compared to 66% of religiously unaffiliated couples. Churchgoers also have 1.4 times higher odds of being sexually satisfied in their marriages and are more likely to report regular sexual intimacy than non-churchgoing peers.

Why does De Gance say orthodoxy matters for marital happiness? De Gance argues that those who hold to a more orthodox expression of faith are more likely to hold a biblical worldview, which produces a cascading effect across behavior including how they treat their spouse. Practices rooted in orthodox faith, including forgiveness, prayer, and the conviction of marital permanence, are directly associated with higher marital satisfaction.

What is Communio’s model for helping churches strengthen marriages? Communio helps churches become a front porch to their surrounding community through relationship-centered outreach events including date nights, community gatherings, and family activities. These low-stakes, welcoming events draw people from outside the church into real-life community. Communio works with close to 600 churches in 33 states, and partner churches average 24% growth in Sunday attendance over 12 to 24 months.

What did De Gance say about the Harvard happiness study? De Gance referenced the Harvard Study of Adult Development, an 80-year longitudinal study that tracked what separated happy alumni from unhappy ones. The primary differentiator was the quality of close relationships, not wealth, career achievement, or social status. Marriage and family life are where those close relationships are most reliably formed and sustained.

Credit: This post draws on a video interview with J.P. De Gance, founder and president of Communio, discussing the Institute for Family Studies’ Devout Difference report. Watch the full interview here.