Key Takeaways
Communio founder J.P. De Gance published an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal arguing that high-interest wedding loans are a cultural harm — and that parents and pastors should actively discourage them during marriage preparation.
The average American wedding now costs between $34,200 and $36,000. Two-thirds of newlyweds took on debt to pay for it — some at interest rates as high as 35.99% APR.
The median age of first marriage has risen from 23 for men and 21 for women in 1975 to 30.8 and 28.8 today. Financial pressure — including wedding cost expectations — is one of the leading reasons people delay.
A simple wedding is not a failure. De Gance argues that a backyard celebration, a church reception, or a modest gathering is a sign of healthy perspective — not a lesser beginning.
Pastors are uniquely positioned to reshape how young couples think about weddings, debt, and what a marriage actually requires to begin well.
The Story: A Wall Street Journal Op-Ed That Every Pastor Should Read
On May 28, 2026, The Wall Street Journal published an op-ed by J.P. De Gance — founder and president of Communio — that put a sharp and necessary argument in front of one of the largest readerships in American media.
The title says it plainly: No Bride a Borrower.
His argument is direct. A wedding should be joyful. But something has gone badly wrong when young people either take on debt or delay entering marriage simply to absorb the costs of an expensive party. And as De Gance makes clear in the piece, this is no longer an edge case. It is the norm — and it is doing measurable harm to the very institution the Church exists to protect and strengthen.
This is a pastoral issue as much as a financial one. And the Wall Street Journal just handed every pastor in America the data to address it from the pulpit.
The Core Finding: Wedding Culture Is Delaying Marriage — and the Numbers Are Stark
The data De Gance marshals in the op-ed is striking precisely because it connects trends that are usually discussed separately.
According to Pew Research Center, financial readiness is one of the leading reasons many Americans remain unmarried. The median age of first marriage has now reached 30.8 for men and 28.8 for women — up from 23 and 21 respectively in 1975. That is not a minor demographic shift. It represents an entire decade added to the average single adult’s life before they enter the commitment that Communio’s research consistently shows is the most formative relationship a person will have.
Part of what is driving that delay is the expectation that surrounds the wedding itself. The Knot’s latest Real Weddings Study puts the average American wedding at $34,200. Zola places the figure at $36,000. For many young couples, that number is simply unreachable — so they wait. They wait for the right job, enough savings, the dream venue, the dress, the perfect photographs. And in the waiting, something is lost.
Even more troubling is what happens when couples stop waiting and start borrowing. According to LendingTree, 67% of newlyweds took on debt to pay for their wedding. Nearly a quarter used credit cards. Eleven percent used a personal loan — with rates that can run as high as 35.99% APR. Bankrate’s example of a $33,000 wedding loan at 12.65% APR would cost a couple $6,828 in interest over three years, $11,697 over five years, and $16,902 over seven.
These couples are not starting their marriages with a blank slate. They are starting them in a financial hole — one they dug in order to fund a single day.
The Counterintuitive Angle: The Dream Wedding Is Undermining the Dream Marriage
Here is the cultural contradiction at the heart of De Gance’s argument.
The more elaborate and expensive the wedding has become, the more it has come to represent not the beginning of a life together but a performance of a life already perfected. The venue, the dress, the open bar, the farewell brunch, the photographer — each element signals not just celebration but arrival. The wedding has become a capstone, not a cornerstone.
And that shift carries consequences that go far beyond the balance sheet.
When a couple believes they must wait until everything is perfect before they can marry — the right career, secure finances, a flawless relationship history — they are operating under a framework that marriage itself was never designed to require. Marriage has never been a reward for those who have figured life out. It has always been a covenant for two people who have chosen to figure it out together.
De Gance puts it plainly in the op-ed: a wedding that strips away the trappings can instead shine the light on what matters most. A backyard celebration or a reception at a VFW Post with family is not a failure. It is a sign of a healthy perspective — one that understands what a marriage is actually for.
The budget-busting wedding creates an expectation of a perfect life. And on this side of eternity, as De Gance writes, perfect doesn’t exist.
What This Means for Your Church
At Communio, this op-ed is a call to action for every pastor involved in marriage preparation.
The Church has a direct and immediate opportunity here. When couples come through premarital counseling, the conversation almost always covers communication, conflict, and theology. Rarely does it address the financial expectations surrounding the wedding itself — even though those expectations are actively delaying marriage and setting couples up to begin their life together in debt.
Pastors have both the relational trust and the moral authority to reshape that conversation. To tell a young couple plainly: a simple beginning is not a lesser beginning. To normalize the backyard wedding, the modest reception, the decision to put savings toward a home and a stable start rather than a single day’s production. To help couples understand that the wedding is not the marriage — and that the pressure to make it perfect is a cultural lie worth resisting.
This is not about telling couples they can’t celebrate. It is about giving them permission to begin — without debt, without delay, without the weight of an expectation that was never rooted in anything that matters.
That is the kind of pastoral clarity that changes lives. And right now, the Wall Street Journal just gave every pastor in the country a credible, data-backed reason to have that conversation.
Take the Next Step
Communio partners with churches to build marriage preparation and relationship ministry that equips couples well — before the wedding and long after it.
► Read J.P. De Gance’s full op-ed in The Wall Street Journal → wsj.com
► Explore Communio’s resources for churches → communio.org
Credit: This post draws on J.P. De Gance’s op-ed published in The Wall Street Journal on May 28, 2026, data from Pew Research Center, The Knot’s Real Weddings Study, Zola, LendingTree, and Bankrate. Read the original op-ed here.
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